Justin Bieber beats Hitler in a fistfight – But it was close.

Depending on who you ask, Justin Bieber is either a mischievous heartthrob singer or a vile douchebag no matter what he does.   His voice can pump you up, soothe your soul or reacquaint you with the lunch you had earlier.  Hello, ham sandwich.  But I digress…

Bieber has done a lot recently to clean up his image.  He yearns to go back to the days of innocence and wholesomeness. However, the move has done absolutely nothing to dissuade his haters. He gathered the media in the lobby of his 10.8 Million dollar Los Angeles Mansion to speak on this recently;

image-
“It really stinks, yanno.  I did my hardest to clean up my image, you know what I’m sayin, I’m reborn. Know what I’m sayin’? Big ups to J-Star who died for our sins.  I ask myself every day ‘What Would J-Unit Do?’ and he told me to do what he did and stand up to evil. I remember when he fought Satan and prevailed…(cont’d)”

*Editor’s note: The fight Justin is referring to was the 10th episode Damien from the critically acclaimed Comedy Central series South Park which aired February 4th, 1998 when Justin was three years old.

“…What is the greatest evil I could fight? Nazis.  Who was the greatest Nazi of all time? A-Bomb Adolf, H-Bomb Hitler and I’m going to personally give him a ticket upstairs to meet J-Dawg in the sky. Bieber out.”

image- (4).jpg

  “Was this even real?”

Nobody wanted to believe the Biebs.  Everybody thought this was a massive troll.  However, last night, Justin Bieber literally did the impossible.  He fought Adolf Hitler in front of the Aryan Brotherhood and Every White Nationalists in the world via pay per view.

Victory would not come easy for Bieber, however.  Hitler, being a strict vegetarian, had no trouble modifying his diet to shed a few pounds to drop from 160 lbs to a leaner 155.  Bieber on the other hand actually did weigh 150lbs soaking wet and had to intensify his Tim Horton’s diet to bulk up from 145 lbs.

Early on, The Furher of the 3rd Reich landed several jabs and overhand rights that left Justin Bieber badly bruised.  Justin returned some punches of his own but they did not have the desired effect on ol’ H-Bomb.  Midway through the 2nd round Bieber switched strategy and tried to slow Herr Hitler down with quick jabs to the body.

Hitler began to slow down and Justin, as expected, got cocky enough to let Angry Adolf steal a round unanimously.  However, Justin’s friendship with Floyd Mayweather must’ve taught him some composure because the fight began to tip largely in Bieber’s favor.  He began to pile Hitler with uppercuts.

Everybody watched in awe as all the gas drained out of Hitler’s tank.  He was very aggressive in the opening rounds of the fight but after the turning point he was consistently being pushed back by Justin’s own Blitzkrieg offensive.  In a last ditch effort, Hitler let loose a furher of punches.

Justin simply Michael-Jackson-Chimon!-Moonwalked all around them.  It was as if Bieber had finally powered up his special ability and he was now invincible.  With Hitler winded, it was only a matter of time before Bieber put him down for the count.

Bieber was elated.  The crowd was stunned. Surely nobody wanted Hitler to win but did everybody want Bieber to somehow lose?  Slowly the eerie silence turned into a thunderous applause as Justin celebrated his victory.  Hitler needed help standing back up. Unreal.

–The Jaded Gamer, signing out!

@IamFN2K

 

Advertisements

Favorite Cell: Down the rabbit hole

OK, so I’ve begun to roll out the first of my creative vomits…

WHAM!

Page_1

If you haven’t read it, check it out. But first, let’s discuss the topic. “My favorite cell.”
Page 5. “Well, that escalated quickly.” Born purely out of necessity.

Page_5.jpg

I had very little resources to transition into a full blown alien invasion. I feel this nails it and moves the scene past what just happened so fast that the reader just says.. “Seems legit.” and keeps going.

See the problem with doing these silly things is not only assembling screenshots and writing the corresponding dialogue, but giving context to every scene. Then while giving context to every scene I have to move the story forward at a certain pace while making Kim likable. She’s the hero.  I don’t intend on having her giggle and twirl her hair through these stupid adventures.

I came to the conclusion that there are a number of reality stars who could easily be “Batman” and that “bat” didn’t necessarily have to be a “man”. Then I immediately made the decision that the reality star shouldn’t be the butt of “the joke” She’ll bare the brunt some jokes, for sure but the cosmic joke is not on her. She is the hero.

So whether or not there is an issue two or I get slapped with a cease and desist – to be continued…

My next bit of SnapCap Comic business is tentatively titled “Fallout: Degrees.” A title that made more sense when I first thought of it.  It was supposed to be from two different perspectives as the characters interacted with each other “butterfly effect” style between the environments of Fallout 3 and New Vegas.  Making that work is actually beyond any effort I’m willing to put into that project.  It would take too much time. However, the new Vault-tec workshop for Fallout 4 solves a problem I was facing and I can continue the tale… or at least half of it.  Here’s the cover:

FalloutIdea

The vault is key.  But the snag… I ran out of materials when building the “set” so this one might have to go back into the oven because I have other things I need to focus on.

Fallout Degrees is much more serious in tone and I worry about that because comedy is much easier to worth with when using screenshots as a medium.

Anyways, that’s been my time.

@IamFN2K
iamfn2k@gmail.com
PSN/XBL: IamFN2K

PODCAST: Rated J #47 – Jaded Gamer: Expert Nothing Sayer of Justice

Rated J: The Podcast

rss-40674_640itunes-button

RatedJPC

Listen. <—-FIXED
Downloads below.

47. Jaded Gamer: Nothing Sayer of Justice (Download) [Right Click, Save As]

The Jaded Gamer discusses farting in an elevator like a boss, admitting he talks a lot but says nothing and griefs on parents publicly shaming their children. Plus BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!… I’m pregnant. Not really.

The Jaded Gamer

Twitter @IamFN2K
PSN/XBL (Include a message) IamFN2K
IamFN2K@gmail.com

PODCAST: 44. Jaded Physics & The Glistening Mountaintops of Justice

Rated J: The Podcast

rss-40674_640itunes-button

RatedJPC

Listen. <—-FIXED
Downloads below.

44. Jaded Physics & The Glistening Mountaintops of Justice [Right Click, Save As](Download)

The Jaded Gamer invades Novah’s cosmos and they talk about God’s underwear, the boring flat lands in between Ontario and Alberta and how disgustingly Canadian they actually are.

The Jaded Gamer

Twitter @IamFN2K
PSN/XBL (Include a message) IamFN2K
IamFN2K@gmail.com

Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑