I Finally am the guy… (Sorta out of character)

I don’t know where to start so this might be a Tarantino movie by the time I’m done writing.

Yes. I took a step away from The Jaded Gamer for a long time.  There are a few reasons for this.

1. I’m going to be a husband, a father

Not any time soon but this is the trajectory of my life. I’m in a relationship that I’m FINALLY comfortable being in.  I can say anything I want in front of my girlfriend and she doesn’t judge me.  She listens and does her best to try to understand my point of view even if her gut instinct is to say I’m wrong or even lying.  She doesn’t interfere with me trying to be the man I want to be.  She doesn’t shy away from my intensity.  I’ve always been better with a woman at my side (or cussing the fuck outta one, amirite fellas?!?!?!?!) <—— Inside joke. If you’re mad, you don’t get it or are even aware of how I jumped into the solo podcast game.

So I stepped away from everything “The Jaded Gamer” for a while… a long while… to foster this relationship BECAUSE:

2. The internet SUCKS!

I’ve talked to many people about “oversharing” on the internet.  Look… it’s your profile… post what you want.  My point is that I shouldn’t know how to rob your house or kidnap your kids based on your profiles.  Somebody I know actually had their house robbed while they were on vacation because of oversharing. It breaks my heart.

Your social media should just be used to share… stuff… NOT act like a celebrity or a highly decorated individual.  You’re not.  I’m not. Most people are not.  You’re just an average person with an opinion. Act like it. We’re all in the shit together.  We’re all the ones eating shit sandwiches and we’re arguing with each other. It’s stupid.  Time and time again I’m seeing walls of texts from passionate people who haven’t gotten very far in life. Come on! Make your life better before you even decide to take a stab at fixing society.  I’ve been called a ton of names by people that can’t spell (Dooshbage).  Watching people on all sides call for violence and then say “But they started it” when they get punched in the face.  We are dumber now than ever before and we have the audacity to tell intellectuals that we know better because we “feel” the truth.

That was basically my existence on the internet before my hiatus.  Arguing with the marginalized because they “felt” like things were getting worse.  Then more insults came. Black culture pushed me because I had concerns about BLM.  Then I said… “Fuck it! Go on with your fight. Good luck.” And I stepped aside.  Then pronouns came up and before I could comprehend what the issue was, the government told me what to say and think on the matter.  NOPE! Suddenly I’m transphobic. No. You idiot. My issue is with compelled speech… forced speech… upheld by law. It could be anybody or anything, black, white, gay, straight, short, tall, ugly, pretty, fat, skinny YADDA YADDA YADDA… I have dominion over my words. You can step in with censorship.  That has been established.  Telling me what I MUST say is not censorship and the only reason why anybody is co-signing on this is because
a) Their government is in charge
b) This benefits them
c) They virtue signal.
d) They believe forcing people to change wont breed maximum resentment.

I do not subscribe to any of that.  So as long as the Vicious Left or the Alt-Right want to breed contempt, I am more than up to the challenge to bite back.  If you want to sit down and have an open and honest discussion… I’m always up for that.  But if the only way you can get what you want is by force and legislation…. I may oppose you.  I don’t care how many tantrums you throw.  I dunno how else to explain it. If I had to hire somebody and the most qualified person was transgendered.. they get the job.  If I meet a feminine person but in a plot twist I find out they were previously male.. OH double plot twist.. already been there and like many relationships, we just weren’t compatible.

Been called Homophobic…. HAHAHAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH *Inhales* AHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*inhales*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*inhales*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I think all y’all are heterophobic.   You think I can’t hear the jokes gay and trans people make about people who aren’t gay and trans? I’m going to say this now because I’m not using it as proof I’m not trans/homophobic.  I have gay and trans friends. They make jokes at my expense.  If it weren’t for straight people having sex there’d be less gay and trans people around so back up off of me when I make a joke that stings.  It’s supposed to.  A large amount of jokes are at somebody or something else’s expense.  I make jokes.  I make jokes about myself. I make jokes about you. I make jokes about EVERYTHING!  Here’s the thing… I don’t think there is a line BUT I have apologized in the past for crossing whatever imaginary line YOU think is there.  I don’t care if I hurt your feelings but I’m not TRYING to and I’m not throwing a party if I do.  It is never my goal.

But if you think there is nothing funny about you or your situation… you’re crazy or lack perspective.  I lost my job, my girlfriend and the roof over my head within a week and I laughed my fuckin ass off.  “My life is a GOD DAMN GREEK TRAGEDY!” and I laughed.

Speaking of jokes…

3. My online friends can’t take jokes.

I culled a bunch of my friends lists a while ago.  If you were cut. Leave me alone.  I’d love to tell you it wasn’t personal but it was.  On the lowest level… you give me anxiety… on the highest level I think you’re a piece of shit hypocrite that can go fuck themself.

My friends in real life get me, know me….  My online friends tolerate me when I’m on fire and ignore me when I let the light on my star power dim.  Or…. is it when their own star power gets brighter?  I can never tell.  Regardless, there is a point where all of a sudden (in their minds) I’m not making jokes, I’m making statements.  All of a sudden I was being malicious when I had the exact same tone and timing as I always have.

If I can’t bust your chops… We cannot be friends.

What I said above is not a universal thing.  If you are still on my friends list or I’m following you… whatever.. we’re fine.  It’s the sacks of baby dicks that will talk shit in their safe spaces but when I say the same “jokes” they make about me behind my back but to THEIR FACE that apparently makes ME the asshole.  So I should be shady bag of puss-puss saying jokes in an echo chamber while my other vacuum sealed friends or co-hosts suck me off?!

I’m sorry for all the vulgarity and swearing… but I hate…. I hate… I… HATE.. PETER PAN…I mean people who can’t take a joke.  It is compounded by the fact that I tend to hang around shit talkers.  However, when one of them can dish it out but not take it…. USUALLY… I go SCORCHED EARTH.  So the fact that I’ve went silent on these XXXL size bag-o-dicks is a blessing and the last favor I will grant.

Upgraded Jaded

I’m still here.  But it is just me.

No more groups.  No more guest spots. No more shout outs for the sake of shout outs.  I shout you out and not feel it back. Game over.  I’m as loyal as a puppy and will go to bat for my friends any way I can.  I’m not a machine. I feel guilt and remorse.  I had a friend who was raising money for a relative’s medical bills and I couldn’t contribute because I was having serious financial trouble at the time.  There was nothing I could do but it still bugs me like I didn’t do enough.

But I’m goin’ solo from here on out.  I don’t trust anybody but me in this.

That’s not entirely accurate.

I’m starting over. Just me.  No frills. Just me.

I hope some of you are willing to leave your ego next to mine at the door to laugh and grow fat with me.  If you put on some rainbow spectacles and look slightly to the left with me… you may find that the world is actually a really…. really funny place.

See you real soon.

Robbie Snotrocket A.K.A The Jaded Gamer, you bitch.

ALWAYS DOWN FOR CO-OP!

Twitter: @IamFN2K
PSN/Xbox: IamFN2K

PS. Upon reflection… I am aware of regular people weaponizing “jokes” and using “humor” to tear down people, cultures, religion etc…  I am pretty sure those people aren’t naturally funny. They can’t be called comics or comedians.  They thrive off of hate.  All their jokes are about HATE.  That’s very “one-note samba” meaning they are hacks.  You can ignore them or feed the trolls.  It’s always been your choice.

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